It’s been quite some time since i’ve posted.

I feel like my life’s in shambles……… It isn’t though. I’m being dramatic. I also just drank almost an entire bottle of wine. For no reason at all but the drowsiness it brought is nice and unfamiliar. I’ve diagnosed myself as an insomniac recently #here #we #go #again #drama #queen #miss #usa #2013

Today the world is my enemy. Womanhood is the cause, but I blame everyone else. I am always right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s annoying losing friends. You’re annoying actually. You’ll remain nameless, but I would just like to say that I think you are, for lack of a better term, a dumb betch. Do you have fun playing pretend? Play on, biotch, play on. 

I want college. I want new. I want girls who aren’t the real life versions of Regina George. Or do those ever even really go away?????? Halp.

My boyfriend’s an ace of spades though, a real keeper. 

I also really like white cheddar cheese popcorn.

Perspective is something I often struggle to find. I look at things way too closely and I forget about other things that mean more. For example, I over analyze my body more than any human being ever should and I just wish I would stop doing that. It has come to a point where I feel consumed with the obsession and its become a determinator of my happiness. And lately all I’ve been is sad. I need to refrain from putting all of my marbles into such a small basket but I struggle to do so.

*sigh* goodnight.

Can I just achieve my goal already? :(

There are so many mediocre things in life. Make it your duty in life to make sure love is not one of them.

It’s funny, criticism. We all do it. Quite often to others, but most often to ourselves. We compare. Comparison is a mother fucker. We compare each and every individual feature of ours to someone else who has something better. I think it’s important we all remember something: Someone else will ALWAYS be better than you at SOMETHING. Maybe that sounds bad, but it’s so true. Often times you will surpass others at a certain something so don’t fret, but we must stop these incessant comparisons that steal our joy. It’s true, comparison is a fucking thief of happiness. I promise you. But also, we’ve really fucked up on choosing who we allow to define beautiful. Skinny, tan, toned, gawdy, ritzy, fuck you bye!!! No… Beauty is so complex. I hate how beauty has a stereotype. How can we possibly stereotype something as expansive as beauty. For example one of the most beautiful things I find in a man is intelligence. Fucking enlighten me and you have me forever. Show me your mind, take me there. Also, I think imperfections are beautiful. I find a sexy man sexier when I find out he has flaws and insecurities. Like, no way me too!!! I’m not alone. But, back to my enlightenment to you reading this… (No one is reading this). I think our biggest problem in defining beauty is the fact that we focus on little details and features rather than the big picture. The amount of times I’ve woken up with a zit and felt ugly is uncountable. But, really, I’m ugly because of this ONE blemish? Get ova yourself… So much more goes into beauty. So much more goes into attraction besides the surface. I don’t even blame Hollywood anymore, I’ll blame Facebook for allowing stupid teenage girls post 100+ bikini pics and make me feel like a dick for lacking any sort of motivation to put the cap back on my Nutella… But my physique is a whole other topic that I don’t care to discuss. I’m pretty sure we all have insecurities there though.

Point is I think you are beautiful.

Goodnight

You are a vicious cycle.

You make me feel so much. You make me feel things I can’t explain.

We are defined by the bad. Good qualities and decisions are overlooked because they’re for some reason expected. Bad memories overpower the sweet. Bad decisions reflect character and give others the opportunity to judge. Use of bad words reflect how you present yourself. Bad days determine moods. Bad moods determine days. We will be remembered for the bad things we have done. Unfortunately we all make mistakes. Redeem yourself.

Who are we allowing to define normalcy?

They are though, aren’t they? I mean really. I feel like everyone, or at least a big bulk of humanity, has that one person to which they are attracted to ALWAYS, no matter how much time passes… I think it’s clear that I, too, have this one person. Well this one stupid person, no different than any other stupid person, gets into my stupid brain and like a fucking torpedo just explodes my thoughts into a million pieces until I am in a state of confusion that cannot be broken. Want to hear a funny story? I don’t know why I asked, I’m going to tell you. I guess that was more of a transition… Moving right along. Just two stupid nights ago my stupid person confessed his stupid feelings for me. To which of course he freaked out and it’s now been two days and I haven’t heard a peep out of him. God he’s stupid. They’re all stupid.

I’m stupid too.

Idk why everyone always is so shocked by the fact that someone was “talking shit” about them. Because first of all, that will NEVER end. And don’t act like you don’t do it. It’s not even “talking shit” but rather just …observing? Venting? You see where I’m going with that I hope… But MY thing is, if you are going to talk bad about someone else and happen to be caught, this right here is a test of character. It’s easy enough for you to quickly deny in order to avoid confrontation, but that my friends is when talking shit is wrong. However, if you admit it then it’s, I suppose, “ok”. Just don’t try and be something you’re not. Especially when that something is a liar.